Mommy How Old Are You?
Little Mary and
her mother are walking through the mall together one day.
"Mommy," says little
Mary, "how
old are you?"
"Darling, you should
never ask a woman what her age is."
"Why not?" demands the child.
"Well, that is something you will understand one day when you're
grown-up."
"Mommy," asks Mary again, "how much
do you weigh?"
"Never mind." answers the mother.
"Why can't you tell
me?"
"Because grown-ups never talk about
how much they weigh. This is something you will learn and understand someday."
"Mommy," insists the
child, "can
you tell me why you and Daddy got divorced?"
"Darling," responds
the mother in exasperation, "that's
something still very painful for Mommy, and I really just can't talk about
it now."
A few days later, Little
Mary recounts this conversation to a friend at school. The friend explains
how to overcome these problems... "All
you have to do is get your mother's driver's license. It has all the information
about any grown-up you want on it. You just read it like a report card and
it'll give you anything you need."
So little Mary does as her
friend recommended. That night she sneaks into her mother's room while her
mom was cooking dinner.
She rummages through her purse and finds the drivers license.
After examining it carefully she walks up to her mother and says, "I know
how old you are!
"You are 35!" The mother is very surprised.
"And, I know how much you
weigh. You weigh 136 pounds, right?" The mother is shocked.
"And, I know why you and
Daddy got a divorce."
The mother, dumb founded asked,
"Why?"
"It's because you got an
F in sex."